Sunday, June 29, 2008

Celebrity jokes

Madonna,Britney and Christina

Due to a mixup on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time for the ceremony. Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says "I’m going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down below very happy." Not to be outdone, Britney ripped $1000 bill in half and threw it out the window, saying, "Look, I just made two people really happy." Not even noticing Britney’s stupid move, Christina bragged, "Look, I’m going to throw 1000 $1 bills and make a lot more people a little happier." At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can’t stand it anymore, comes out and says, "I think I’ll throw all three of you out of this plane and make 250 million people happy.

If Britney Spears and Fat Bastard mated...

If Britney Spears and Fat Bastard mated, the resulting child would be:Anna Nicole Smith.

What did Micheal Jackson said to his cock...
Q: What did Michael Jackson say when his cock slid in the little boys arse?
A: There is a great musician in you.

A definition of God
A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy's mind, sat him and said: "God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white." To which the child responded, "Well, then is God Michael Jackson?"

Do the math
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.She called on him and said, "Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

A man lay sprawled across three entries seats...

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied "the balcony."

Meet
How did Bill and Hillary Clinton first meet?

They were both dating the same girl in high school.

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