The kids filed back into class Monday morning.
They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
Little Mary led off, "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."
"Very good," said the teacher.
Little Sally was next, "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events."
"Very good, Sally," said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.
"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"
"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.
"Toothbrushes?" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample.
They all said the same thing. "Hey, this tastes like dirt!" Then I would say, "It is, wanna buy a toothbrush?"
- ► September (3)
- Things not to do in library
- Coolest 216 Megapixel Camera
- Heights of..........(improve version)
- How to Spice up Your Sex Life
- 3 FoolProof Flirting Tips For Men
- Why men cheat vs Why women cheats
- TOp 10 signs of a cheating man
- Little Ralphy and the teacher
- Signs of an Internet Affair
- Healthy Love Vs Toxic love
- Good Girls Vs Bad Girls
- My Worst Date Ever
- Should I Pose the Question as a "True or False?"
- how the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games got their logo
- A Guy Being Interview
- High Gas Prices Equals No More Starbucks for Me
- Sony Ericsson Xperia X1 In The UK ?
- The Italian Lover
- Letter from Husband to his Wife
- Hottest Jokes
- Adele Silva Photos
- The Banana Test
- 5 ways to Improve Your Sexual Relationship
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
The kids filed back into class Monday morning.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Little Johnny had been bringing his drawings home from kindergarten every day since he started a month ago. Each day his mother admired the pictures and hung them on the refrigerator. One thing started bothering her. Little Johnny only used black and browns for his drawings. Fearing a problem and not wanting it to get worse, she decided to take him to a child psychologist.
The psychologist delicately went to work. He gave Little Johnny a battery of psychological tests. He chatted with Little Johnny. Everything seemed perfectly normal. Every day for two weeks, the tests continued. Yet everyday, Little Johnny continued to bring home drawings in only blacks and browns.
Frustrated at not being able to get to the root of the problem and fearful that something was terribly wrong, the child psychologist decided to give Little Johnny some paper and a box of crayons and observe what happened.
Little Johnny opened the box of crayons and said, "Oh, Boy! A new box of crayons! At school we only have old boxes. The only ones left in mine are black and brown!"
Friday, November 21, 2008
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: "Michael, if you were on a date, having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute, I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite."
"What about you Peter, how would you say it?" Peter said, "I'm sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table."
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"
I would say, "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."
The teacher fainted.
Little Johnny asks the teacher, "Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?"
The teacher replies, "Yes, but only after you recite the alphabet, Johnny."
Little Johnny says, "Fine!" Then he quickly babbles out: "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ!! !"
The teacher asks him, "Where is the P, Johnny?"
Johnny screams, "IT'S RUNNING DOWN MY LEG!!! PLEASE LET ME GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!"
Playing In Sandbox
Little Johnny and Jane are playing in a sandbox. Little Johnny has to go to take a pee but he was told by his mother to always be polite and don't talk about private matters in public.
At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not know what to say Jane to excuse himself. Then he remembers what his Mom had said at the restaurant to excuse herself from the table. So he turns to Jane and says "Will you excuse me I have to go powder my nose." And saying that he leaps out of the sandbox and runs to the washroom.
When he comes back Jane looks up at him and asks, "Did you powder your nose?"
"Yes" said Little Johnny stepping back into the sandbox.
"Well then" says Jane, "You'd better close your compact because your lipstick is hanging out!"
Little Johnny came home from his hot date and sat down to talk with his dad. He had a smile on his face. 'It must be true love, dad' he sighed.
'What makes you think that it is true love?' asks his dad.
'Well," says Little Johnny, 'Suzy started out giving me the best blow job I've ever had.'
'Nah,' replied his dad, 'that's not true love, it is just lust.'
The next night Little Johnny came in after his date, and sat down again to talk with his dad. 'For sure it is true love, dad.' he said.
'What makes you think that it is true love this time?' asks his dad.
'Well," says Little Johnny, 'Tonight Suzy gave me the best blow job of my life, then let me take her up the ass!'
'That's not true love, Johnny,' replied his dad, 'that is just infatuation.'
'If what Suzy and I have is just infatuation, then what is true love?' asked Little Johnny, confused.
'Well,' says his dad, 'if it was true love, she would let you f*ck her up the ass first, then give you the best blow job of your life!'
Saturday, September 6, 2008
The coolest house in the world that floats you believe it or not......Forget what you thought you knew about architecture, because this house will blow your mind; the layout of the house, the views and the sheer architectural artistry and imagination which made it come to life.The Wilkinson Residence, designed by architect Robert Harvey Oshatz, is a one of a kind piece of architectural art. Located in Portland, Oregon, this house architecture design and location bring the main level of the house into the tree canopy to evoke the feeling of being in a tree house. I call it, the house that flows.
The client asked for a house that not only became a part of the natural landscape but, also addressed the flow of music. This unique design uses a natural wood ceiling which floats on curving laminated wood beams and glass walls.
I love how the spaces in this amazing house flow inside and out - One has to actually stroll through the house to capture it’s complexities and it’s connection to the exterior; it seems as if the house almost wraps itself around you.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
PILOT HUMOR...We Hope!
The Three Worst Things to Hear in a Cockpit:
1. OH Sh#t!
2. I have an Idea!
3. Hey, Watch this!
Ten Ways To Tell If Your Pilot is on Drugs:
1. All the in-flight meals are missing their dessert squares.
2. In between "May I" and "have your attention" there's a 45-minute pause.
3. He's constantly yelling, "Take that, Red Baron!"
4. Shuttle from Newyork to Boston includes stopover in Colombia.
5. His copilot: Robert Downey Jr.
6. For the last hour, he's been riding the beverage cart like a rodeo cowboy.
7. Keeps coming on the P.A. to point out clouds that look like his old highschool teachers.
8. His wings are pinned to his bare chest.
9. When you fly over International Date Line, he yells, "Dude! We're, like, time traveling!"
10. When he exhales, the oxygen masks drop.
Murphy Laws For Frequent Flyers:
No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight.
If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.
If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.
Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.
If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper.
Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the lavatory.
The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.
The best-looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.
The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard.
Flight Crew Code Words:
Blue ice = frozen toilet water
Choppy Air = severe turbulence
Hockey Puck = tasteless deli sandwich
Jetbag = very senior flight attendant
New Arrival Time = late!
NFR = 'Nother 'Friggin Runner (passenger arriving late)
Refrigerator = carry-on piece too large for overhead bin
Restricted Visibility = a white out or bad fog
Self-loading cargo = passengers
Showers = severe thunderstorm
Slam Dunk = very hard landing
Slider = tasteless breakfest omelet
Saturday, August 30, 2008
A library is a savored and hallowed institution within which certain unwritten laws and etiquette are expected to be observed by all those who enter.
Ten of the certain coolest habits or manners that are somewhat frowned upon in the library environment are listed in the following:
1. The beloved mobile phone:
The use of making and receiving phones calls. Loud, annoying ring tones as you (deliberately) fumble to answer the phone. Speaking in a loud voice whilst wandering around for the best reception, even standing on a chair.
The use of any food that involves noisy packaging, notably the crisp packet. If you experience difficulty opening the packet you can always ask others to assist, even the librarian.
3. The Chair.
Attention to rocking back and forth on your chair as you read. Those with the emphasis of banging the legs down loudly.
Going across the room to obtain a free chair and dragging it back along the floor to where you want to sit.
Deliberately taking a list of twenty to thirty books to the desk for the librarian to help searching for, possibly causing a queue, then saying that you have changed your mind.
5. Where to sit
If the library is pretty empty, sitting next to the few occupied chairs. You may even feel the need to keep moving around next to other people.
6. The cough.
The never ending cough that breaks the eerie silence. Particularly annoying when sat next to someone concentrating, or when you repeatedly bang you hand on the table whilst trying to catch your breath.
Reading a book out loud. Those people who read out loud whilst writing down information and allowing every other member to know.
8. Finding the right books.
Unsure which book you need. Then take several. Make a large pile of books on your table and build them like a mini-fort to hide behind. Perfect for those noisy crisps. Worse still if you then walk off and leave the huge pile on the table.
Cannot be bothered to photocopy or write down certain material. Then take the page with you. removing the required page and inform that you need this or will finish reading the page later, before bringing it back.
10. For the very brave.
Standing behind someone who is quietly reading and asking in a very loud, polite voice if you can borrow the sex manual after they have finished. Be careful who you pick though. Fighting is strictly prohibited.
Microsoft has developed 216 megapixel camera. The UltraCamX collects 216 megapixels per trigger to produce 14,430 across track and 9,420 along track pixels, the largest image format available, with a sustained collection rate of three gigabits per second. The UltraCamX, a large Format Digital Aerial Camera, uses CCD technology, employing 7.2 micrometer pixels thus achieving an even larger image format at 14,430 x 9,420 pixels without sacrificing radiometric performance.
Vexcel Imaging GmbH, a Microsoft® company, has signed a purchase agreement with Aerodata International Surveys, a Belgian-based airborne surveying and mapping company - for an UltraCamX (UCX) large format digital aerial camera system.
“Aerodata is a long standing UltraCam customer and has significant experience operating the camera,” said Rob Agee, Microsoft Group Business Manager for the Vexcel Imaging GmbH business. “The company understands the clear benefits provided by the UltraCam technology and the added value afforded by the advancements available through the UltraCamX. We value their commitment to providing their customers high-quality aerial imagery, quickly and economically, and congratulate them on this purchase.” For more information about UltraCamX visit vexel Imaging, a microsoft company.
Friday, August 29, 2008
THESE ARE THE SOME OF THE COOLEST AND FUNNY HEIGHTS OF...........
Height of Fashion : "Dhoti" with Zip
Height of Secrecy : Offering blank visiting cards.
Height of Active Laziness : Asking for a lift to house while on a Morning walk.
Height of Craziness : Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
Height of Forgetfulness : Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect wjen you saw him/her last.
Height of Stupidity : A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
Height of Honesty : A pregnant women taking one and a half ticket.
Height of Suicide : A dwarf jamping from the footpath the road.
Height of Dehydration : A cow giving milk powder.
Please tell me how's this???If you like it please digg it. If you have similar kind of other then let me know I'll add it.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Adding a little spice to your sex life can be fun and bring your relationship closer. Read these fun tips on how to spice up your sex life.
#1: Leave Room for the Imagination
While wearing sexy clothes can be alluring and enticing, it is important to leave some room for the imagination. Often couples get used to one another. Do not go around the house naked or half dressed all the time. Spice up your sex life by leaving some details that will only be seen in the heat of the moment.
Dress in the other room. Don't let your partner get used to how you look.
#2: Take Advantage of Aphrodisiac Foods
Foods can add spice to your sex life. Aphrodisiac foods can help trigger the desire and awaken the passion in the relationship. Drizzle some garlic sauce over some hot and steamy pasta for a sexy, romantic meal. Mix some cinnamon and chocolate in a warm coffee as an after meal drink and prelude to some spicy time together as a couple.
#3: Mystery Date
Find a babysitter and go on a mystery date. Call your partner and have them meet you at a diner, club or even hotel room. Take time for just the two of you to enjoy several hours together without the interruptions of telephones, email and television.
#4: Word Kissing
If you and your partner watch television together, pick out a particular word for the week. It does not matter what the word is but try to pick one out that is not said every two seconds. Whenever the word is said in one of your television shows, the two of you kiss. Before you know it, the television will be ignored and the things will really heat up for your sex life.
#5: No Sex Ban
To spice up your sex life, put a ban on sex in the relationship for a brief period. You can touch cuddle, kiss and make out but cannot have sexual int****** until the ban is lifted. Often, couples get into a rut of standard foreplay and times for sex. Spice up sex by creating anticipation and excitement.
#6: Massage Night
Have one night a week that is massage night. Light some candles and put on soft music. Take time to really enjoy giving and receiving a massage. Do not use the night for sex but simply touching and bonding with one another as a couple. Leave room for the imagination; take advantage of aphrodisiac foods; go on mystery dates; play word kissing; have a no sex ban and massage nights to spice up the sex life in your relationship.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Flirting is a socially acceptable and savvy way of saying “I am interested in you romantically or sexually” and creating that “spark” between you in a woman, to make sure you don’t end up “just a friend”.
Here are a few ways to set of that “spark” between you and a woman.
Flirting Tips for Men
Have you ever had a girl who clearly liked you slap your arm whilst laughing after you said something… that’s the sweet spot guys… Most women absolutely love being teased in a playful or sarcastic way, the key here is it must be humorous, not mean. This type of teasing builds up sexual tension and conveys your wit and confidence. Here’s an example…
Girl: Drops/Spills something
Guy: See, This is why we can’t have nice things.
When delivered right she will know you’re joking, it’s kind of like animals instinctively knowing the difference between a fight and a play fight, of course practice makes perfect.
An even safer way to do this is mixing a positive comment with a negative one, for example…
Girl: Says something silly
Guy: I love your hair dark, but I could of sworn you were actually born a blonde.
Time for some more fun, start purposely misinterpreting as many things that she is doing as possible as an attempt to hitting on you or wanting you, for example…
(Guy and a girl are drinking together)
Guy: Are you trying to get me drunk to take advantage of me?
Girl: No! (Laughs)
Guy: Sure, sure, I know you’re type, you know I’m not just a piece of meat, I have feelings to.. (Fake upset)
You’ll be amazed how quickly this can build sexual tension, it also has the added bonus that if she is at all attracted to you she will most likely at some stage imagine herself with you.
Breaking the touch barrier is extremely important, physical play is a great type of flirting because it’s both fun and gets her comfortable with your touch. The key here is to touch her in completely non threatening ways to begin with, a fun way is to challenge her to a thumb war, I’m going to assume you don’t weight 120lbs and you are capable of winning.
Still here? Ok good, Once you beat her you can say:
“Well now we can see you clearly suck at thumb wars, I don’t know if this is going to work out between us… Can you cook?”.
The main thing is have fun, be playful and keep a light heart about things. Few things are as attractive to a woman as a guy who knows how to have fun and create a fun vibe. Express you’re wit and creativity and also give her a chance to express hers, once you get good enough at this type of banter to always win these “play fights” you will be a flirting machine. Happy flirting!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
The Top Reasons Men and Women Cheat
For most men, sex is the primary motivating factor for cheating on their mate. The majority of the reasons cheating men give for their infidelity were directly or indirectly related to sex.
On the other hand,women who were cheating on their spouses or significant others had different motivations for their affairs. The primary motivating factors for cheating wives are linked to unmet emotional needs or dissatisfaction with their marriage, or their mate.
Below are the 10 most hottest but common reasons cheating husbands and cheating wives use to justify their extramarital affairs:
Top 10 Reasons Why Men Cheat
- more sex(the desire for a more active sex life)
- sexual variety (the desire for different type of sex or particular sex act)
- opportunistic sex ( presented with an opportunity to have sex without getting caught)
- to satisfy sexual curiosity (about having sex with a particular person)
- to reaffirm his sexuality
- a feeling of entitlement (the belief that it's a man's prerogative to cheat)
- the "thrill of the chase"
- the desire to feel important or special ( an ego boost)
- peer pressure
- sexual addiction
Top 10 Reasons Why Women Cheat
- lack of emotional intimacy (a desire for a close emotional bond)
- dissatisfaction with her mate
- marital or relationship unhappiness
- a desire for male attention
- to reaffirm her desirability (To feel validated as a woman)
- to re-experience feelings of romance
- a desire to feel "special"
- sexual excitement
Friday, August 22, 2008
We have listed the top 10 signs of a cheating man below. How to know if your man is cheating? If your man exhibits any of the below, it may be time to take a closer look.
1. Spends less time with you. A cheating man must use the excuse of working long hours, extra meetings and dinners or other unexplained functions so he will have time with his "other" woman.
2. Isn't as affectionate any more. Your sex life is almost non-existent because of his other commitments. He doesn't want to cuddle, watch a movie, hold hands or do many of the touchy things he used to.
3. He changes his physical appearance. A cheating man usually starts buying new clothes, gets a new hair style or begins working out because he wants to be attractive to the other woman in his life besides you.
4. Car changes. The passenger seat in the car has been moved or there is an unknown hair on the car seat. Perhaps the radio station is on an irregular station because that's what she likes.
5. Cheating man becomes more short-tempered because of the guilty feelings as a result of the infidelity. Things that usually did not bother them suddenly start bothering them.
6. A cheating man may smell of perfume, smoke or alcohol, especially if he hasn't had time to change them from meeting with her.
7. Behavioral changes. A cheating man frequently becomes defensive when questioned about his whereabouts. He may turn it around to accuse you of being insecure, possessive or snoopy.
8. Cell phone changes. A cheating man can not leave his telephone turned on when with you because his other woman may phone him. He may leave the room to have a telephone conversation or say strange things after he picks up a message from his lover. Watch for calls in the middle of the night. If you have access to his telephone bill, check it closely. Look for repeated unknown numbers, times and durations.
9. Computer usage changes. A cheating man may utilize a computer to seek out partners or communicate with. If your man is on his computer for long periods of time at night and he closes the door so you won't see him, he may be communicating or chatting with his love interest.
10. Changes in spending habits. You can tell if your man is cheating if he is suddenly always broke. He's broke because he is spending all of his money on the other woman. Watch as to whether he is paying with cash and making more frequent ATM withdrawals to cover his paper trail. Check any receipts, bill's or stubs that you may have access to.
A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'
She calls on little Ralphy.
He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'
The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'
Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?'
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'
To which Little RALPHY replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the
wedding ring on,'
but I like your thinking.'
Cyber affairs are increasingly becoming a problem for married couples today. The internet has made having an affair less risky than in the past. With a cyber affair, the cheating spouse is no longer in danger of being "caught" by friends or family; at least in the beginning of the affair, before it goes from an emotional affair to a physical affair.
If you suspect that your spouse is having a cyber affair, this article is for you! Keep in mind as you read this article that both husband and wife can engage in a cyber affair.
There are many things to look for if you think yourspouse is having a cyber affair. Some of these things may seem obvious; while others may be more subtle. Just remember that while these are the signs of internet cheating, the only way to know for sure is to either catch your spouse cheating or your spouse admitting that they are involved in a cyber affair.
One of the most obvious signs of cyber cheating is spending an excessive amount of time on the computer. Cyber cheaters, especially in the beginning, usually want almost constant contact with their cyber affair partner. In the beginning of the affair, email and instant messaging are often the only forms of contact.
Cyber cheaters often hide theirinternet activities from their spouse. They will only check their emails when theirspouse cannot see what they are doing. They will sometimes move the computer to a more secluded location. Another possibility is that they only use the computer in a spot where only they can see the screen. An example is a chair in a corner where no one can look over their shoulder.
Often, cyber cheaters find their cyber affair partner on a dating site. Most sites require that the user create an on line dating profile. Seeing dating sites on the sites visited history is a common sign that your spouse is having a cyber fling. If you notice this, look at your spouse's profile to see what they are looking for.
Because text messaging and instant messaging are widely available on cell phones, excessive cell phones use is a sign of cyber cheating. Once a cyber cheater is using their cell phone to contact their cyber affair partner, they often become extremely protective of their cell phone. They keep it close and will hardly ever let it out of their sight. If the phone has a lock feature, they will often use that so that their spouse cannot access anything in the phone.
Cyber cheaters are also defensive about the number of text and instant messages received on their cell phone. They may lie about who they are corresponding with. They will usually try to defend their usage amounts. Because most cell phones bills have itemized usage statements, they will often destroy the bill before their spouse gets to see it.
Cyber cheaters may change passwords on their email account, instant messaging account, or on the computer. They will keep the new passwords a secret. They will often attribute the change of passwords to security problems.
A change in sleeping habits or patterns is another thing to look for. People involved in a cyber affair that has escalated to voice contact will often call each other late at night or early in the morning. This is because their spouse is usually asleep and night and weekend calls are free for most cell phones.
Another sleep related change is when the cyber cheater begins to sleep away from their spouse. They may just "happen" to fall asleep elsewhere or they may get up and go to another place once their spouse is asleep. Some have even started an argument with their spouse just to have an excuse to not sleep in the bed with them.
Because of their guilt, cyber cheaters are often more irritable than usual. They will often scrutinize their spouse's actions. This is done so that they can justify the cyber affair to themselves by using the perceived faults of their spouse as the reason for the cyber affair.
Some spouses of cyber cheaters have noticed significant monetary changes. They notice either a lot more or a lot less money in their accounts.
Another sign is a spouse leaving the house often. They will usually want to go run errands alone. This is usually so that they can contact their cyber fling. These frequent absences often mean that they shirk marital or parental responsibilities.
Please remember that it is very important to know with absolute certainty that your spouse is having a cyber affair before you accuse them. A wrongful accusation can be just as damaging to a marriage as a cyber affair.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Check out these coolest differences between them
|Healthy Love||Unhealthy or Toxic Love|
|Development of self first.||Obsession with relationship.|
|Room to grow, expand; desire for other to grow.||Security, comfort in sameness; intensity of need seen as proof of love (may really be fear, insecurity, loneliness)|
|Separate interests; other friends; maintain other meaningful relationships.||Total involvement; limited social life; neglect old friends, interests.|
|Encouragement of each other's expanding; secure in own worth.||Preoccupation with other's behavior; fear of other changing.|
|Appropriate Trust (i.e. trusting partner to behave according to fundamental nature.)||Jealousy; possessiveness; fear of competition; protects "supply."|
|Compromise, negotiation or taking turns at leading. Problem solving together.||Power plays for control; blaming; passive or aggressive manipulation.|
|Embracing of each other's individuality.||Trying to change other to own image.|
|Relationship deals with all aspects of reality.||Relationship is based on delusion and avoidance of the unpleasant.|
|Self-care by both partners; emotional state not dependent on other's mood.||Expectation that one partner will fix and rescue the other.|
|Loving detachment (healthy concern about partner, while letting go.)||Fusion (being obsessed with each other's problems and feelings.)|
|Sex is free choice growing out of caring & friendship.||Pressure around sex due to insecurity, fear & need for immediate gratification.|
|Ability to enjoy being alone.||Unable to endure separation; clinging.|
|Cycle of comfort and contentment.||Cycle of pain and despair.|
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"...
Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?"
Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.
Good girls wear white cotton panties...
Bad girls don't wear any.
Good girls wax their floors...
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot...
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls make chicken for dinner...
Bad girls make reservations.
Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...
Bad girls know they could do better.
Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss...
Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.
Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...
Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.
Good girls love Italian food...
Bad girls love Italian waiters.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
I think most of us have had at least one of these in our lives. We’ve been set up on a blind date from hell or perhaps our first date with what is now a long term relationship started off badly. This is my story.
Yes, I am a bit desperate for companionship and attention so I make the mistake of letting my best friend set me up with a friend of her then boyfriend. Blind dates can be the richest fodder for some of the world’s worst experiences. Mine was no exception. We were to all four meet at her home and then go out to dinner. Sounded simple. What could go wrong?
Well, I started with my own faux pas of being angry at an ex-boyfriend for dumping me so I arrived to our meeting dressed to the nines. Slinky red dress, make-up to kill and my best little strappy shoes. I’ll show the ex. Yeah, right. Blind date’s eyes nearly pop out of his sockets. It’s obvious from the get-go that he was thinking, ‘I’m going to get lucky tonight.’ Realizing my error too late I figured that we can talk and get to know each other so I can get him straightened out. But that would be too easy.
George(not his real name as I think I’ve suppressed the memory of his true moniker) takes me by the hand after we’ve barely exchanged names and leads me to a back bedroom. I’m thinking this boy better want to talk. No such luck, of course, as he tries to wrap his arms around me and goes straight for the smooching.
By all rights I should just leave now and call it a loss, but I’ve only just arrived and since none of us has a car I’m going to be stuck riding the bus home one way or another. Might as well stick things out a bit longer and see if it gets any better since he’s obviously gotten the wrong impression here. I explain to this would-be Romeo that we should get to know each other better before commencing any hanky panky. He reluctantly agrees and we talk for a bit and exchange a few shallow personal details.
He keeps holding my hand and tries to draw me closer. I really should have just left, but to top things off I really didn’t have a lot of dating experience outside of my previous marital status and had not had to fend off a man’s advances before. Add to all this that I have four kids waiting at home for me and what sort of hoops I had to jump through to get a sitter and I was determined to ride things out.
My friend and her fellow have been in the other room enjoying each other’s company but she finally becomes concerned about me and comes to my rescue. It’s time to head off to a local eatery. This is the only good part of the whole debacle. The place is cozy and cute and the food is really good. Plus, I’m getting fed for free. This is a big deal for a single mom. My budget is tighter than a fashion model’s girdle. Unfortunately, this guy has the rather quaint male notion that this means I’m obligated to him now. And all through the meal he’s massaging my thigh under the table and trying to get his arm around me as we eat. Ugh!
After finishing our meal we head back to my friend’s place. He tries to take me to the back bedroom again but I’ve had enough. There is some further senseless chit chat in the main room and then back outside the front door before I insist that it’s getting late and I need to get home to my children. He escorts me on the bus. He keeps trying to put his arm around me and is obviously hoping for more. We arrive at my stop where I need to transfer to another bus to finally get home. Thankfully, he needs to continue on the current route so I can make good my escape. I’m at least smart enough to not let him know exactly where I live nor give him my phone number.
I go home, take care of the sitter and take a shower before going to bed. There is not enough hot water in the universe to get rid of the creeps I’m now feeling. Ick! I will never wear that dress again.
This is not the end of the story. Oh, no. Not with this persistent, deluded twit.
The next evening my would-be lover is apparently lamenting his experience and downs a few six packs. At approximately 1:30AM he calls my friend to ask why I wouldn’t put out. Needless to say she is disconcerted and concerned by his behavior. She gives me a call later that afternoon to let me know what he’s done and said.
I am furious. I rarely get this kind of angry, but I recognize what could turn into a very dangerous situation for my friend and for myself. Time to let this guy know he needs to back off for good. I get a number where he can be reached and let him have it. I am clear, stern and severely ticked and I let him know it. I also inform him that I will not only never go out with him again but that he is to leave my friend alone. He is never, never to try to reach me again.
He sounds like a hurt puppy that just had its nose swatted for no reason. Are you kidding me? This guy has the nerve to act like the injured party?
Saturday, August 16, 2008
For a time, I worked at a Wendy’s. Not the most distinguished place of employment, but it brought in paychecks…more than my fall-back plan of becoming a hobo could boast. As a new employee, I was lucky enough to be given a choice: work the fries, or work the front register. I decided to go with the job that posed me less of a threat in the form of third degree burns. In retrospect, fries might have been less painful.
One thing you may quickly notice if you listen closely to those around you in a fast food restaurant is that Wendy’s does not cater to the upper rung of society. I suppose the NASCAR poster in the front window should have been a hint. But if you’re just EATING at Wendy’s, such things don’t bother you much. But if you’re getting PAID to talk to these people, it can quickly become a real problem.
On my first day of work, a customer approached my register. By the looks of him, I assumed he was a regular to this quality of dining. I was quickly proven wrong, however.
ME: Welcome to Wendy’s! Is this for the dining room? CUSTOMER: Just a second, I’m still lookin’.
I give the customer a minute to study the menu, being too polite to point out that the question was nothing but a fancier way to say “for here or to go.”
CUSTOMER: I want—
ME: I’m sorry, sir. Is this for the dining room?
ME: Are you eating in the dining room?
CUSTOMER: Yeah. I want a number four and a—
ME: Small, medium, or large?
ME: Your combo. Would you like it small, medium, or large?
CUSTOMER: Would I like what?
Apparently, this guy had never in his life eaten in a fast food restaurant.
ME: You can order your combo in different sizes.
CUSTOMER: What’s the difference?
ME: It changes the size of your fries and your drink.
CUSTOMER: I get a drink?
Now I’m starting to get frustrated. Had he just picked a number at random and hoped it was something he liked?
ME: Yes, sir. So would you like your combo small, medium, or large?
At this point, the guy stops to think. For a full 20 seconds. What he finally answered, unfortunately, wasn’t worth the wait.
Great job, idiot. How much easier could this be than multiple choice? Small, medium, or large! Regular wasn’t a choice! You must have done great in school. Having a one in three chance of getting the question right goes out the window when you don’t pick ANY of the choices. I’ll try again. He’s got to realize what he’s doing.
ME: I’m sorry, Sir…did you say small, medium, or large?
CUSTOMER: I said regular.
At this point, I had to make a decision. There was a line piling up behind the half-wit. My instinct told me he wanted a medium…but my instinct also told me that my pet hamster would have been able to understand the question. Should I instead give him the small? That was the price listed on the menu…if I charged him more, he might get upset, I’d have to get the manager…grr…I had to try to clarify one more time.
ME: So medium?
CUSTOMER: Regular! Is there something wrong with your ears?
Fine! Regular! I punched the button for small. If he didn’t like it, tough.
The sad part of this story is that over the next two months, I saw that man every couple of days. He never mastered the answer to “small, medium, or large.” Before I quit (a blessed day!) I filled out a comment card, in the spirit of my favorite customer, suggesting that we add “regular” to the menu.
Because, you know, the customer is always right.
Friday, August 15, 2008
This is really funny stuff check it out now...
EDIT: The GIF animation doesn’t seem to work in my copy of Internet Explorer 7.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
A guy being interviewed at the US Embassy.
Consul: "Your name please?"
guy: "Six time a week."
Consul: "I mean, male or female?"
guy: "Both male and female sometime even camels."
Consul: "Holy cow!"
guy: "Yes, cows & dogs too."
Consul: "Man, isn't that hostile?"
guy: "Horse style, dog style, any style!"
Consul: "Oh dear!"
guy: "Deer? No deer, they run too fast..!!"
It was no surprise to me when I read this morning that Starbucks is going to close more than 600 stores in the United States. I know that I have been less frivolous with my money. There are a number of things I’ve given up slowly as gas prices have increased. I no longer go for a ride when I feel stressed out, I eat out less and I no longer get my daily grande mocha latte from my local Starbucks.
Yes, they made plenty of money off of me in the past years. At more than $3 for a coffee that costs about a quarter to make, I figure Starbucks has made more than $600 on just me alone this year. Times this by the number of people in line every morning, and my local Starbucks has done well over the years.
Now, when we all have to take stock in what we are spending our money on, what does the company do? When we have to fill our gas tanks using grocery store incentives and change found under the couch cushions, does Starbucks understand? No, they leave, deserting us when we are down. Closing the door and keeping the coffee all locked up. The loyal followers are not being rewarded for our consuming of costly cups of coffee, but instead being scalded.
I don’t blame Starbucks for my woes. I can’t travel as much as I used to because of the higher costs of travel that have risen due to gas prices. I don’t have as much petty cash left at the end of the month because it costs almost $80 to fill my gas tank. Maybe being home more and enjoying the little things in life is what high gas prices are really trying to
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
The coolest Cell Phone of Sony Ericsson is now in the UK
According to rumors, the much-awaited sony Ericsson Xperia X1 phone will be released in the UK in October for £599.99 ($1140). FYI, the phone has a 3.2 MP camera with flash and autofocus, 3 inch touchscreen display sliding QWERTY keyboard, and an external microSD slot for expansion. Other features include FM radio, Track ID music recognition and MP3/AAC/MPEG4 player.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
The Italian Lover A virile, young Italian was relaxing at
his favorite bar in Rome,when
he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde. Things progressed to the
point where he invited her back to his
apartment,and after some small talk,they retired to his bedroom where he
rattled her senseless. After a pleasant interlude,he asked with a smile,
"So...you finish?" She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No."
Surprised,the young man reached for her and the rattling resumed.
This time she thrashes about wildly and there are screams of passion. The
rattling ends,and again,the young man smiles,and again he asks,"You
finish?" And again,after a short pause,she returns his smile,cuddles
closer to him,and softly says,"No." Stunned,but damned if this woman is
going to outlast him,the young man
the woman yet again using the last of his strength,he barely
manages it,but they end together,screaming, bucking,clawing,and ripping
the bed sheets.The exhausted man falls onto his back,gasping. Barely able
to turn his head,he looks into her eyes,smiles proudly,and
asks again,"You finish?" She whispers in his ear, "No,I Norwegian."
Monday, August 11, 2008
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart
His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Thanks for your 100 kisses,
I am sending the expense details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some
other items....... ....
5. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I
hope I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!! Your Sweet Heart
checkout the hottest jokes and laugh a lot......
Three tragedies in a man's Life
The 3 tragedies in a man's life:
1- life sucks
2- job sucks
3- Wife does NOT!
Smart man +smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man +dumb woman = pregnancy
Men are better Friends
A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the next
morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her
girlfriend's apartment overnight.
The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends, and none of
them confirm that.
A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells
his wife the next morning, that he stayed at his friend's
So the wife calls 10 of his best friends : 5 of them
confirmed that he stayed at their apartments that night,and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them !
Saturday, August 9, 2008
There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals, a lion, a chimpanzee, a giraffe, and a squirrel, who pass by.
They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.
Who do you think will win?
So think carefully . . . Try and answer within 30 seconds
Now scroll down to see the analysis.
If you picked:
Lion - you're dull.
Chimpanzee - you're a moron.
Giraffe - you're a complete idiot.
Squirrel - you're just hopelessly stupid.
A Coconut tree Doesn't have Bananas!!!!!
Obviously you're stressed and overworked.
You should take some time off and relax!
so have fun time while reading other post.
Friday, August 8, 2008
1. Stop Pointing Fingers
Many people are quick to blame their partners for problems in their relationship. Usually a far more effective way of going about things is to work on improving yourself first and acknowledging with your par that you are both responsible for making the relationship work, and that you should each do your part.
2. Understand First Than Be Understood
When there are problems in a relationship the cause is usually one or more person feeling misunderstood in some way. Talk to your partner and find out how you can better satisfy them, find out exactly what’s bothering them, and share what’s bothering you. Don’t talk about the problem extensively or argue, instead talk about solution and to avoid offending your partner before bringing up a flaw bring up all the things you enjoy about them first to make sure they know how much you care about them.
3. Surprise Her!
If you’re relationship is losing it’s intimacy make an effort. Sometimes that’s all it takes to show a person you care about them and diffuse any hard feelings between you and your partner. Plan a surprise weekend away or just a nice date together and make a break away from the norm.
4. Be Creative
In bed that is… Many couples get into a sexual relationship routine, usually leading to very uninspired lovemaking You don’t have to take up karma sutra to reignite the passion in bed. Start by just trying something new, ask each other about you’re fantasies or take turns in leading the action in bed. You may also want to agree with your partner that no position is off limits or a similar arrangement, most importantly experiment and have fun!
5. Buy Viagra and Regain Your Confidence!
If you are having trouble getting or maintaining an erection, or if you are looking for a little extra power in your punch then you might of heard of Viagra, which can really help you Improve Your Sexual Performance if you are suffering from ED.
Sexual relationships can be hard work or they can be an absolute joy. However, when you and your partner take the time to work through your problems with each other with kindness and honesty things quickly improve… Add some great sex to that equation and you’re relationship should be back on track in no time…
Best of luck dear!!!
This is the coolest or hottest letter ever written by husband to wife and wife to her husband.check it out .... Dear Sweetheart: I can...
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I think this is the coolest bedroom I’ve ever seen… Although I think that maybe there is too much water and it looks a little too cold to m...
checkout the hottest jokes and laugh a lot...... Three tragedies in a man's Life The 3 tragedies in a man's life: 1- life sucks ...
Most people wouldn’t expect a car that can go from 0-60 in under 3.2 seconds to be eco-friendly in the least, but the Porsche automakers b...
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