Sunday, August 17, 2008

My Worst Date Ever

I think most of us have had at least one of these in our lives. We’ve been set up on a blind date from hell or perhaps our first date with what is now a long term relationship started off badly. This is my story.

Yes, I am a bit desperate for companionship and attention so I make the mistake of letting my best friend set me up with a friend of her then boyfriend. Blind dates can be the richest fodder for some of the world’s worst experiences. Mine was no exception. We were to all four meet at her home and then go out to dinner. Sounded simple. What could go wrong?

Well, I started with my own faux pas of being angry at an ex-boyfriend for dumping me so I arrived to our meeting dressed to the nines. Slinky red dress, make-up to kill and my best little strappy shoes. I’ll show the ex. Yeah, right. Blind date’s eyes nearly pop out of his sockets. It’s obvious from the get-go that he was thinking, ‘I’m going to get lucky tonight.’ Realizing my error too late I figured that we can talk and get to know each other so I can get him straightened out. But that would be too easy.

George(not his real name as I think I’ve suppressed the memory of his true moniker) takes me by the hand after we’ve barely exchanged names and leads me to a back bedroom. I’m thinking this boy better want to talk. No such luck, of course, as he tries to wrap his arms around me and goes straight for the smooching.

By all rights I should just leave now and call it a loss, but I’ve only just arrived and since none of us has a car I’m going to be stuck riding the bus home one way or another. Might as well stick things out a bit longer and see if it gets any better since he’s obviously gotten the wrong impression here. I explain to this would-be Romeo that we should get to know each other better before commencing any hanky panky. He reluctantly agrees and we talk for a bit and exchange a few shallow personal details.
He keeps holding my hand and tries to draw me closer. I really should have just left, but to top things off I really didn’t have a lot of dating experience outside of my previous marital status and had not had to fend off a man’s advances before. Add to all this that I have four kids waiting at home for me and what sort of hoops I had to jump through to get a sitter and I was determined to ride things out.

My friend and her fellow have been in the other room enjoying each other’s company but she finally becomes concerned about me and comes to my rescue. It’s time to head off to a local eatery. This is the only good part of the whole debacle. The place is cozy and cute and the food is really good. Plus, I’m getting fed for free. This is a big deal for a single mom. My budget is tighter than a fashion model’s girdle. Unfortunately, this guy has the rather quaint male notion that this means I’m obligated to him now. And all through the meal he’s massaging my thigh under the table and trying to get his arm around me as we eat. Ugh!

After finishing our meal we head back to my friend’s place. He tries to take me to the back bedroom again but I’ve had enough. There is some further senseless chit chat in the main room and then back outside the front door before I insist that it’s getting late and I need to get home to my children. He escorts me on the bus. He keeps trying to put his arm around me and is obviously hoping for more. We arrive at my stop where I need to transfer to another bus to finally get home. Thankfully, he needs to continue on the current route so I can make good my escape. I’m at least smart enough to not let him know exactly where I live nor give him my phone number.
I go home, take care of the sitter and take a shower before going to bed. There is not enough hot water in the universe to get rid of the creeps I’m now feeling. Ick! I will never wear that dress again.

This is not the end of the story. Oh, no. Not with this persistent, deluded twit.
The next evening my would-be lover is apparently lamenting his experience and downs a few six packs. At approximately 1:30AM he calls my friend to ask why I wouldn’t put out. Needless to say she is disconcerted and concerned by his behavior. She gives me a call later that afternoon to let me know what he’s done and said.

I am furious. I rarely get this kind of angry, but I recognize what could turn into a very dangerous situation for my friend and for myself. Time to let this guy know he needs to back off for good. I get a number where he can be reached and let him have it. I am clear, stern and severely ticked and I let him know it. I also inform him that I will not only never go out with him again but that he is to leave my friend alone. He is never, never to try to reach me again.


He sounds like a hurt puppy that just had its nose swatted for no reason. Are you kidding me? This guy has the nerve to act like the injured party?

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