Friday, August 22, 2008

Signs of an Internet Affair

Cyber affairs are increasingly becoming a problem for married couples today. The internet has made having an affair less risky than in the past. With a cyber affair, the cheating spouse is no longer in danger of being "caught" by friends or family; at least in the beginning of the affair, before it goes from an emotional affair to a physical affair.

If you suspect that your spouse is having a cyber affair, this article is for you! Keep in mind as you read this article that both husband and wife can engage in a cyber affair.

There are many things to look for if you think yourspouse is having a cyber affair. Some of these things may seem obvious; while others may be more subtle. Just remember that while these are the signs of internet cheating, the only way to know for sure is to either catch your spouse cheating or your spouse admitting that they are involved in a cyber affair.

One of the most obvious signs of cyber cheating is spending an excessive amount of time on the computer. Cyber cheaters, especially in the beginning, usually want almost constant contact with their cyber affair partner. In the beginning of the affair, email and instant messaging are often the only forms of contact.

Cyber cheaters often hide theirinternet activities from their spouse. They will only check their emails when theirspouse cannot see what they are doing. They will sometimes move the computer to a more secluded location. Another possibility is that they only use the computer in a spot where only they can see the screen. An example is a chair in a corner where no one can look over their shoulder.

Often, cyber cheaters find their cyber affair partner on a dating site. Most sites require that the user create an on line dating profile. Seeing dating sites on the sites visited history is a common sign that your spouse is having a cyber fling. If you notice this, look at your spouse's profile to see what they are looking for.
Because text messaging and instant messaging are widely available on cell phones, excessive cell phones use is a sign of cyber cheating. Once a cyber cheater is using their cell phone to contact their cyber affair partner, they often become extremely protective of their cell phone. They keep it close and will hardly ever let it out of their sight. If the phone has a lock feature, they will often use that so that their spouse cannot access anything in the phone.

Cyber cheaters are also defensive about the number of text and instant messages received on their cell phone. They may lie about who they are corresponding with. They will usually try to defend their usage amounts. Because most cell phones bills have itemized usage statements, they will often destroy the bill before their spouse gets to see it.

Cyber cheaters may change passwords on their email account, instant messaging account, or on the computer. They will keep the new passwords a secret. They will often attribute the change of passwords to security problems.

A change in sleeping habits or patterns is another thing to look for. People involved in a cyber affair that has escalated to voice contact will often call each other late at night or early in the morning. This is because their spouse is usually asleep and night and weekend calls are free for most cell phones.

Another sleep related change is when the cyber cheater begins to sleep away from their spouse. They may just "happen" to fall asleep elsewhere or they may get up and go to another place once their spouse is asleep. Some have even started an argument with their spouse just to have an excuse to not sleep in the bed with them.

Because of their guilt, cyber cheaters are often more irritable than usual. They will often scrutinize their spouse's actions. This is done so that they can justify the cyber affair to themselves by using the perceived faults of their spouse as the reason for the cyber affair.

Some spouses of cyber cheaters have noticed significant monetary changes. They notice either a lot more or a lot less money in their accounts.

Another sign is a spouse leaving the house often. They will usually want to go run errands alone. This is usually so that they can contact their cyber fling. These frequent absences often mean that they shirk marital or parental responsibilities.

Please remember that it is very important to know with absolute certainty that your spouse is having a cyber affair before you accuse them. A wrongful accusation can be just as damaging to a marriage as a cyber affair.

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